Listen to the Four Year Old

When I was four years old, my mother made what she probably believes to be the worst mistake of her life; she allowed me to choose my own shoes. They were red, canvas sneakers and like a dark magician, it seemed I could conjure them at will. My mother would subdue my wild little feet into lacy socks and those horrible shiny black shoes for church but I would smuggle the red sneakers into the back seat and surreptitiously change into them. Having four kids, my mother was too distracted to notice until it was too late and she was forced to endure the shame of having her youngest daughter displaying highly unfashionable footwear to the entire congregation.
Her second regret might be sewing a jumpsuit for me out of blue fabric covered in red smiley faces. I wore it so long that not only did I appear to be waiting for a tsunami, but since it was one piece I could no longer stand up straight and had to stoop and slump like Quasimodo to avoid ripping my jumpsuit in half. I was an aberration of the feminine, graceful swan my mother expected but no one could have said that I didn't know my style!
Through the years, the world encourages us to conform but we would do better to trust our four year old selves.  I've been called a tomboy among other things. My sons tell me I am the Peter Pan to their Lost Boys.  As the old saying goes, when someone says something to you about yourself, well, "if the (red) shoe fits"........you know the rest.

Out of the Mouths of Babes

One of the many times that I was evacuated from the path of a potentially deadly hurricane with my three very large teenage sons and two cats, the only hotel that accepted pets was an expensive luxury resort. When we arrived, we were surrounded by luxury cars and limos. The perplexed valet could not figure out how to work the (broken) power locks on my vintage SUV. I proceeded to crawl into the back seat to unlock the doors. Not at all drawing room style. My SUV is 13 years old and boasts nearly  300,000 on the  odometer. What parent of three boys in her right mind would want a nice car? I make an effort to live below my means which includes avoiding car payments and debt of all kind in favor of saving for investments and emergencies.
After we were happily settled in our room, one of the boys commented on the poor valet who tried to do his job with dignity although our car would have made the Beverly Hillbillies proud.

My son then sagely summed up the situation and stated, "The reason we have the money to stay in this hotel without going into debt is BECAUSE we have an old car." Touché.

Save the Books

As I write these thoughts for people to read online, I am hoping that electronic devices never cause the extinction of books. You know, paper and ink. I especially love hardcovers. I'm in love with books, period. I read my favorites so many times I can quote them; The Hobbitt, Fablehaven, Great Expectations and reference of all kinds including nature or travel books loaded with photos that allow us to experience every thing the world has to offer from a park bench. As a kid, I read the encyclopedia from A to Z and a dictionary that almost outweighed me. And before I could crack the magical code, my long-suffering sister read to me. I would wiggle with intolerable anticipation while waiting to see the dog party in "Go, Dog. Go!"
And then came that ingenius invention, the bookstore cafe'. When I walk into Barnes and Noble I'm immediately intoxicated by the combined scents of books, coffee and baking cookies. I never want to leave! No wonder you find people sleeping in the armchairs. Maybe they are being educated by osmosis.  Do you think they would notice if I brought in a cot and my cats?
Books look beautiful in a room, they feel good to hold and did I mention the smell? There are many advantages to the new paperless world but if books ever become extinct, please bury me with the last one!

Worth the Wait

When I was a kid, before the days of the internet and video recorders (yes, there was such a time) I would wait eagerly all year to see the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade on TV. I was mesmerized by Tom Turkey, the Garfield balloon and Santa in his snow goose sleigh. We also had to wait all year for "Miracle on 34th Street" and I envied the little girl in the movie for living on the parade route. That movie was worth watching even if only to see Santa whack that smug shrink with his cane. If you had the tragic misfortune to miss those holiday specials, you had to resign yourself to a year of waiting.
This year, I missed the parade on Thanksgiving, but the next day on my way home from work I saw a cloud formation that bore a remarkable resemblance to a line of parade animal balloons, (see photo below). I clearly saw a baby elephant, whale, snail, duck and rabbit.  Or maybe my imagination is just over developed from reading "The Hobbit" one too many times.
Instead of settling for and marrying the first schlep we meet, sometimes it pays to wait for the person we want. Chocolate needs time to ferment and I assume croissants require time to rise (I don’t know because they sound way too difficult to make).
I believe that in this world of instant gratification, some things are just worth the wait.

Step Away From the Credit Card

As the aptly named "Black Friday" approaches, normally sane and courteous people are preparing to morph into ravenous, ruthless spenders. I know there are millions of books about financial security and wealth building but it sort of all boils down to this:  Stop spending.
Are Americans the only people who actually pay for storage units and buy books telling them how to organize all of the junk they never use? Instead of trying to store all of that stuff, wouldn't it be easier not to buy it in the first place? After books on clutter prevention have topped bestsellers' lists, people are still dedicating a whole day to buying stuff which eventually ends up in the landfill.
Debt puts us in bondage but saving can buy freedom. Einstein said,  "Compound interest is the eighth wonder of the world.  He who understands it, earns it....he who doesn't, pays it."

A Cat is Always on the Wrong Side of the Door

The cat yowls to come in but once inside, decides that the place he just left is more desirable and proceeds to yowl to get out. There is currently a lot of research concerning hedonistic adaptation. In English, this roughly means that although a change can make us happy at first, we will eventually return to our baseline level of happiness. If we have something pleasant daily, it becomes habitual and taken for granted.
A new job, city or relationship is intoxicating, but the only way to continue enjoying it is to improve our baseline ability to search for and appreciate the benefits our lives currently offer instead of thinking that the proverbial grass would be so much greener if we could kick down the fence and be somewhere else with someone new.   We work so arduously to achieve a goal then quickly forget to value what we’ve gained and have to start all over again, like Sisyphus toiling to push the boulder up the hill only to watch it roll back to the bottom.  
Einstein understood the need to seek magic in the ordinary:  “There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."

Grace Under Pressure

Was it Hemingway who said, "Courage is grace under pressure"? I don't enjoy Ernest but I love the Rush album that I assume was named for the quote. Grace under pressure describes the word equanimity. Equanimity is my favorite word. Do all people have favorite words or only those of us who read encyclopedias and dictionaries for relaxation?
Have you ever been in a hurry and the person in front of you is driving twenty mph under the speed limit as if he hasn't noticed that he is no longer driving  a covered wagon? At this point we can behave in a way that would make Cruella de Vil look like Mr. Rogers or we can remain calm and attempt to find some humor in the situation. Unless there is an obvious, immediate solution, sometimes we can strengthen our characters by tolerating inconvenience with equanimity. It also helps to put what's irritating us into perspective. When considering all of the real tragedies that occur, are we really justified in having a cow over an inconvenience? I think not.

It's Good to Be Queen

I love bees.  I especially love honeybees. They are decorative AND useful. I love that the color of their little bodies matches the luxurious golden color of the honey they create. They are the world's most important pollinators and they take what is widely available (nectar) and transform it into a valuable product that humans have coveted for centuries. We depend on bees to pollinate our food supply. Another seemingly magical ability they have is transforming an insignificant larvae into the crucial queen by feeding her royal jelly. We would all benefit from emulating their ability to transform the ordinary into the extraordinary.
Some people make the unfortunate mistake of lumping bees in with wasps. Wasps can be very aggressive and when associated with bees, can cause people to have an unfounded fear of bees. Unless we go out of our way to disturb bees, they are peace loving creatures. At different times, I've seen honeybees share a flower with bumblebees, butterflies and hummingbirds. There's another example for us. The world needs bees for a plethora of reasons. Let's protect them. Long live the Queen!

Naturally Happy

It's hard to be grumpy when surrounded by nature. If you pay close attention, you'll notice that the wind makes a different sound in each type of tree. I absolutely love the wind. On windy days the whole world seems so alive. The trees seem to be dancing!
Water makes a variety of music depending on if it's part of a fountain or waterfall. The sounds of nature are drowned out by the noises of man. Make a point of listening for the sounds that are widely tuned out including thunder, rain, waves, birds and insects. Nature sounds are in meditation music for a reason.

Happy With Less

There was a time when most people cared very much about what the general public thought of them.  People felt the need to have large, expensive, and therefor, impressive houses and cars. What I really love about our current culture is that it is considered cool to have less. Instead of being viewed as inferior, a person who chooses a smaller house or decides to keep his old car, is now considered environmentally responsible.  A financially modest lifestyle is now something to proudly embrace instead of reluctantly tolerate.
Who wants to be owned by her house or be responsible for loading up the landfills?  As my Aunt says, "Use it up, wear it out, make it do or do without."

Pay Attention

Everyone has seen a beautiful sunset, but a moonset is something else altogether. In September, while driving to work early in the morning, I saw a gigantic orange ball to the West. I astutely assumed it had to be the moon since everyone knows the Great Pumpkin only appears on Halloween. It was low in the sky and I was looking for a place to pull over that allowed a clear view of the horizon. I should have stopped and taken a picture as soon as I saw my firey moon because within two minutes it had vanished. Something so lovely and rare existed for such a brief time. I guess we can't measure value by its duration.

Trying to Turn a Wall Into a Door

I have often labored under the delusion that every good thing that happens to me is to my credit and every bad thing is a result of a poor decision or a lack of planning.
How is it that with the proof of vastly different siblings who were raised in the same home, I continue to insist that I am in control of outcomes?  I press the elevator button repeatedly and spam the enter button rapidly as if sheer effort and determination can bend reality.
Similar to Chinese Finger Traps, I’m oblivious to the fact that the harder I struggle, the more I feel trapped. I occasionally remember to just tell the truth, do the right thing and then throw it to the four winds. The result is always so much better than anything I try to wrestle into existence.