Go Your Own Way

According to authors and philosophers, variety is the spice of life. So why does the world continue to pressure people to conform? I'm reminded of all the people in The Emporer's New Clothes who convinced themselves that the king wasn't running around in his birthday suit just because they did not want to stand out from the crowd and question what they had been pressured to believe.
In the 70s, women wanted stick straight hair like Cher and Marcia Brady. In the 80s, thanks to Bon Jovi, everyone wanted a perm and too much mousse. And then came  the flatiron for the curly haired girls who want to subdue their DNA.
And don't even get me started on the backsides. At one point everyone was in an uproar because the supermodels all looked like skeletons on a diet and now the girls aren't happy unless they have a big "booty"?  Let's not forget the disastrous results of plastic surgery on the celebrities who feel pressured by an industry that requires everyone to look no older than 22.
Fashion is an arbitrary tyrant. Jeans have ranged from "mom jeans" that come all the way up to your neck, to lowriders that allow us all the dubious privilege of sporting the "plumber butt" look. For centuries men wore long hair and now, even in today's supposed atmosphere of acceptance, long haired men are discriminated against by employers.
People feel pressured to seek careers that are considered prestigious and expressing opinions is like dancing blindfolded through a minefield.
It takes incredible strength and courage to be exactly who we want to be and sadly, most people take half of their lives to realize that they've been making decisions to please other people. We have limited time on earth and should spend as much time as possible being who we want to be.
There is a story that Dr. Seuss' father criticized his drawings and said that they did not look "real" but his mother, thank goodness, encouraged him to draw things his own way. Dr. Seuss later said, "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."

One is Not the Loneliest Number

Our culture glorifies romance. Movies, music and books insist that happiness can only be found in romantic relationships. A great relationship has many benefits but by desperately seeking one, many people end up compromising themselves and accepting a relationship that brings them more misery than happiness. In a bad relationship, people bring out the absolute worst in each other and it's hard to like yourself when you are constantly on your worst behavior. Some people even seem to think that hitting each other with frying pans indicates passion.  I once read this quote, "A bad marriage makes you lose your fear of death." Ouch. That's life changing. If given the choice between a lousy relationship and being alone, most people are too terrified to make a change. But although growth and transformation can seem daunting and painful, the results will more than compensate.
Solitude is often mistaken for loneliness but it is necessary if we ever want to know ourselves. Being alone let's us hear ourselves think. It allows us to remember who we really are and what we want without the influence and expectations of others. Being alone helps us to become more confident, capable and independent.
As Einstein said, "Be a loner. That gives you time to wonder, to search for the truth...make your life worth living."