Trying to Turn a Wall Into a Door

I have often labored under the delusion that every good thing that happens to me is to my credit and every bad thing is a result of a poor decision or a lack of planning.
How is it that with the proof of vastly different siblings who were raised in the same home, I continue to insist that I am in control of outcomes?  I press the elevator button repeatedly and spam the enter button rapidly as if sheer effort and determination can bend reality.
Similar to Chinese Finger Traps, I’m oblivious to the fact that the harder I struggle, the more I feel trapped. I occasionally remember to just tell the truth, do the right thing and then throw it to the four winds. The result is always so much better than anything I try to wrestle into existence.